


Haunting

by homochester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homochester/pseuds/homochester
Summary: Sam and Castiel are on a hunt away from the bunker, when Sam gets flashbacks of his time in the Cage.





	Haunting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first fic I've written in years. I wrote this a few weeks ago because I was going through my own Trauma Moods at the time, and wanted to project my emotions onto a character lmao. You can find me on tumblr at homochester.tumblr.com.

Sam and Castiel are out working on a case together, just the two of them, when the angel notices it. Had it been anyone else, they might’ve just brushed it off as Sam not getting enough sleep, or a moment of distraction. But when Sam swerves slightly, Cas peers up curiously at younger Winchester. It’s the clench of his jaw and white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel that gives it away.

“Sam?” Cas starts, hesitantly. He’s not sure if he should pretend that he doesn’t notice Sam’s distress, but his voice must give away his concern. Feigning casualty was never Cas’s strong suit anyway.

“I’m fine,” the hunter says, slowly releasing his tight grip on the wheel and breathing out.

Castiel is lost on how to comfort him, so he looks out the window instead.

***

Sam is not fine.

During their interview with the deceased man’s husband, Sam asks the man to repeat his answer on two separate occasions. It’s not unusual for him to ask for clarification or confirmation during interviews; he’s a thorough hunter. However, Castiel notices that he’s not asking for either of those. Sam isn’t focused on the task. He’s got a glazed over look, and his leg is shaking. It only takes one look at Sam’s state and the blonde-haired, blue-eyed man in front of them for Cas to put the pieces together.

The third time Sam opens his mouth to ask the man to repeat his answer, Castiel interjects, “Thank you, I think we’ve got everything we need. I’m so sorry for your loss.” He swiftly leads the Winchester out of the house.

Back in the car, the hunter is a mess. Castiel hands him a bottle of water and Sam downs half of it, muttering a quiet “Thanks.” Cas wants to punch a wall and hug the Winchester at the same time, but he does neither of those things. Instead, he awkwardly reaches to pat Sam on the shoulder and ignores the way his throat slightly closes up when Sam leans into his touch.

“Is everything alright?”

This is about Lucifer. That much, Castiel has figured out. Sam doesn’t talk about it much, but Cas knows that whatever happened in the cage will haunt Sam for the rest of his life.

“Yeah, uh, yeah. Thanks, Cas.”

Sam looks at him, and tries a reassuring smile. It doesn’t work. Cas can see the hurt in his eyes, and aches for him. He hates feeling powerless, like there’s nothing he can do to make the man feel marginally better. He squeezes Sam’s shoulder and makes himself lets go.

***

Castiel would kill his brother if he got the chance. He doubts that he would win against an archangel, but he knows deep in his soul, he would do anything to make Lucifer feel even just a fraction of the agony he caused Sam. Maybe once upon a time, he would’ve felt something like sympathy for the archangel. But listening to Sam whimper painfully in his sleep now, Castiel would like nothing more than to crush Lucifer under his feet. He’s only glad that he got Sam out of there when he did, or he’s not sure what would’ve become of him.

“Stop, please,  _please_. No, no! Stop!” Sam shouts in his sleep from the bed. Castiel is up and moving towards Sam up in a second. He hates this, he hates seeing Sam in so much pain. He doesn’t want to think about what Lucifer might’ve done to Sam, and ignores the sick feeling in his stomach. This is not about him, he reminds himself.

“Sam, Sam!” Castiel says urgently, shaking the man awake. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

Sam lashes out against Cas when he abruptly sits up, still terrified and confused, and the angel pulls back to get a good look at him. His hair is plastered to his forehead and his clothes are damp and sticking to his skin. Castiel wants to shred Lucifer into a million pieces, but he steels his anger in and tries to put on a calm façade for Sam.

“You’re okay, Sam, you’re okay,” Cas says gently, letting Sam sag against his body. He’s not sure if Sam wants any more physical contact than that, so he hesitantly rubs the man’s back through his cotton shirt and asks, “Is this okay?”

Sam nods, squeezing his eyes shut and burrowing closer into the angel’s body. His breathing comes out in ragged breaths and Cas reaches over to the night stand where a plastic cup of water sits. He holds it up to Sam but the hunter shakes his head and mumbles out “Numb.”

“Can you drink this if I hold it for you?” Castiel asks. Sam nods, still trying to even out his breathing.  Cas holds it up to his lips and helps him drink, watching as the rest of the water drains from the cup. When Sam is done, Cas sets the water down and reaches for Sam’s hand. He’s uncomfortably familiar with this particular tightness in his chest, but he ignores it, lets himself believe that he’s just massaging the numbness from his best friend’s hand because that’s what friends do. This is comfort; this is care, nothing more. Sam doesn’t move his hand away; instead he leans against Castiel’s wrinkled dress shirt. His breathing seems to have evened out a little more, and Cas can feel the soft, warm puffs of air through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Castiel asks. It’s a little bit strange to be in this position, Cas thinks. The taller man’s head is tucked into his shoulder, and he can smell the sweet, floral scent of Sam’s shampoo from this angle.  Sam looks almost as if he’s trying to fold in on himself. He looks so small, or at least as small a man his size could be, and so  _vulnerable_. It makes his stomach clench up, and he finds himself leaning in closer to the other man.

“I can still feel the cage, Cas, feel  _him_ ,” Sam exhales, choking on his words towards the end. The hand that Cas was just massaging tightens its grip under his, and he lets Sam hold his own hand as tight as he needs to.

“I wish things were different for you, Sam.” Castiel does not know where to begin, or where this will end. “I wish you did not have to endure what he did to you. You did not deserve  _any_  of it. If I could have stopped it, I would have in a heartbeat.”

A beat of silence skips between the two of them. These are the things that they cannot change. They both know this.

“But, you are here now, and I will not let him harm you. You are safe, Sam Winchester,” he finishes. Castiel says his name like a prayer, and Sam feels it humming deep and warm in his bones.

The hunter doesn’t know how to express his gratitude. He curls further into Cas, allowing himself to give in to this comfort  _just this once_ , and whispers a quiet “thank you”. It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all he can manage.

 


End file.
